Ambient Lighting; With a bit of Stuffing.

I've felt suspended in the crisp air of this Midwest winter.
Since the temperatures have been plummeting as fast the economy around here I've been at quite the loss of things to do. I have until the ninth of January to get a few more drawings in for my final portfolio, which is for the scholarship considerations. I'm hoping to actually walk my self through the 14+ inches of snow along the mile of coast in Oak Creek to get to the factory. And stand inside the desolate, frigid surroundings of those old brick walls, and draw.
I wish I could still drive back in there, for I'd have power [think space heater].

My admissions counselor says my factory series has a good running for the top scholarship if I can polish it off nicely. I'm hoping these drawings will do just that.

On another note I need to get back out and see some people I've been too busy to make time for. Most importantly Alex Schlitz, along with Jessika Winhiem.
Need to get out to more random places, and just shoot some photographs, regardless of my prejudices towards just shooting without taking hours to compose.

--

Days are starting to look up lately, other than school.
Portfolio review is on the 18th and I have nothing together yet.
It's not even procrastination, I just don't have to money to buy my own work.
And just 6 days after that, I'll be loosing my license for driving like a dumbass.

But back to the first line;
I've found a few great people over the past few months.
As well as connected with people I have been close with in a long time.
I'm starting to find myself, and think more like an adult everyday.
And it surprises me.
I think rationally, and have found myself finally saying to myself 'Who cares what they think" or " they'll never remember you anyways, who cares what you look like to them."....
Just things you'd never think would come from me a few months ago.

I'm hoping and going to believe that what I want to major in for college isn't a joke.
I hope that I go so far in this, and actually make enough to not live in the poor house forever.

Meh.
Goodnight.

Seeing the large amounts of time spent online...

with nothing do to, I think I should try to get back into writing out my days, and thoughts.
It's supposedly healthy, I hear.

So a little after 2 months of being with Jordin, her attitude and mannerisms got the best of me, and I called it off.
It's unfortunate, she is a great person when she puts the effort forth. Which I suppose you could take as I'm not worth the effort, or things of that nature, but I think it was mostly on her.

Stayed home from school, yet again.
I hate that I feel the need to do so, my gym grade is terrible and my mom is getting threatening letters for my absences.
I feel like driving, but that never goes over well; I just waste gas and end up sitting alone, without a cigarette, bored.

Realizations of the day;
I need a hair cut.
Losing something you thought was good for you, but found out was the opposite, is relatively relieving.
Sitting between 6 speakers playing Apparat is probably the best stress relief there is, Prescriptions set aside *wink*
I'm better than what I view myself as. And on many levels I'm lower than where I place myself.

So farewell to Jordin
Hello to a new chapter

I've got a lot to work on
And I'll get right on it.